"Tell him to stay gold... or something..."

So, as I doubt that anyone on the program reads my blog, this isn't so much a confession as it's just a detailing of facts from the past couple of days. Explicit language might follow. Ok, I lie. It will follow. This is a rant.

I've been sick since last Tuesday. I had to go to the hospital on Saturday. I've had the flu, a stab-like pain in my side, and I thought I was having a heart attack (which apparently were heavy muscle spasms... I'm not really sure. The doctor didn't speak great English. He just said I was "tip-top.")

But that's only half the reason I've been in a foul and intolerant mood.

I'm sick and tired of giving trying more than anyone else to pretend that this is actually college related. By this, I mean the lectures that are called "classes" but are actually more like periods of time where you're welcome to learn something if you feel like it. Most people put their traveling before the classes and, you know, I could care less.

I care when my valuable time is wasted. For example, I'm pretty sure in GER 101 there are some pretty suck ass grades floating around because a couple of weeks ago, everyone was screaming for extra credit. There was the first of my annoyances. College was supposed to be a challenge to yourself, not a desperate attempt for a good GPA so you can get some crap ass job you think you might like after not being quite sure what you want to do with a degree. And I'm pretty sure I've never once been in a class where someone was brave enough to ask for extra credit.

Honestly, I'd be embarrassed if my grade was that horrible I felt the need for extra credit... especially here because the GER 101 class is easier than ENG 101. That is no joke. Well, I possibly exagerate because I never had to take ENG 101. It might have had something to do with me coming out of high school (and subsequent years of public schooling) knowing what an indefinite article is. Just a guess on my part.

So, all this week I've not given a shit about what my attitude has been toward others (more specifically, those who felt the need to screw around this entire time). I guess my breaking point came yesterday. In light of the knowledge that our the majority of our class might be a little slow at the English language (much less German) our German teacher was nice enough to give a detailed review of EVERYTHING we'd need to know for the test today.

The people who expressed extreme concern for their grade on the test today and who had screamed for extra credit, almost got an earful. From me. Instead of maybe taking the opportunity to listen for once, they fucked around taking pictures and video of this guy in our class who apparently looks like Robert Pattinson (of Twilight film fame... don't get me started). They started an album on Facebook. There is proof.

I walked out of the classroom in the middle of lecture. I couldn't take it. I walked around the building, looked at flyers, and tried to keep my cool.

And of course, the stuff with the humanities class.

I just can't find the will to go on being nice and tolerant in class. Quite honestly, it's not fair for anyone to expect me to. I participate and I study and I complete homework. I refuse to pretend like I'm ok with stupidity from this day forward.

I know that knowledge should be a reward in itself, but I'm not a great human being like that. I don't see these people suffering any immediate negative consequences so I feel indignant. Who the fuck cares if their grade suffers? What good does that do for me? They'll still graduate one day. They'll still get jobs and people will still respect them (for some reason). Even if it was just the denial of extra credit, I would have felt that my hard work was justified, you know?

Anyway, I'm not sure when I'm going to get out of this mood so I can't promise that the optimistic and happy rating for my next few blogs will shoot through the roof.

Cheers.