"Shun the Furmious Bandersnatch"

It is possibly no secret that life for me has hit a low point. Nothing in particular is wrong. I'm just bored out of the constant and steady stream of coursework filling my plate constantly like a neverending pasta bowl at the Olive Garden.

Take, for example, this week alone:

While writing yet ANOTHER lab report for Ecology , I had to study for a Psych test and keep up with insane amounts of German and Spanish homework. All the while, I'm desperately trying to come up with philosophical insight about misrecogniton and the role of recognition in Antigone... until this Tuesday when I discovered I had THREE not TWO essays due for my Literature and Philosohpy class this Friday. Then I get to do another lab report for Ecology and try to put together a presentation for Spanish AND study for a German test. Oh, and read.

In the background is the steady flow of my cats all vying for some type of attention unattainable and the dishes that keep piling up even after a load has hit the dishwasher... and my room is a mess. Of all the things.

Sadly I bought a copy of Civilization 4 (I'm a sucker for Sid Meier games), promising myself that as soon as I get caught up I'l install it and spend a couple of hours playing it. That has not happened and it seems unlikely that it will any time soon.

Oh. Frazzled. I am such.

Cheers.

Completely and utterly swallowed whole

At this moment, I am paying for relaxing and taking it easy this weekend. Greatly. Most of the people in my life have the audacity to tell me to ease up on myself and not take on so much at one time (ie taking two foreign languages, focusing research on an interdiscipline of two sciences, working, AND trying to start up research FINALLY). And I appreciate it most days. However, this will be the last time I decide that my Ecology lab can be put off. I had brand new lab write up as well as a revision of a poorly executed lab on horse dentition and its relation to biostratigraphy. Granted, if I actually did anything NOT the night before, this would not be happening.

Unfortunately, I was trying that whole "balancing life" thing. I think I'll go back to having no social life and just focusing on school. It was less complicated that way anyway.

Cheers.

Recognition

Being enrolled in the Literature and Philosophy class wasn't exactly a well thought out plan considering I don't focus on either of those items in my studies. But oh, we read Hegel among others. And a startling realization came into light:

I recognize that I need and want to be recognized by others; however, knowing I will never be recognized in the way that I want others to recognize me I compensate by pretending that I don'twant to be recognized.

Take a second for that to sink in. I was outside when it happened, and, thankfully, blissfully alone. the world stopped and I've been mulling over that for about a day now. I recognize that I spend most of my time alone, waiting to be recognized. But I don't actively work on being alone for that purpose; that's just how it's played out for me. So, when I have more thoughts on the matter, I'll be sure to share.

Cheers.

The Grateful Shirt

It is eight minutes shy of 2 in the morning.

I can't keep German straight from Psychology at this point; moreover, I can't keep personal life straight from everything else (read: more important items such as research, studying, language practice, et cetera).

In the last couple of weeks my major source of social interaction has been having high-pitched, low level conversations with my cats (read: talking about their day, talking about their naps, asking them if they're hungry or tired).

And even further, my great Houdini of a shirt has pulled the disappearing act. Of unknown origins, the Grateful Dead shirt has been in my possession for years now. Where did this grotesque tye-dyed wonder come from? Honestly, I have no clue. Honestly, I'm amazed I wear it (read: I'm amazed it fits). However amazed I am, I still like to wear it but it cyclicly pulls this vanishing act and reappears at its own whim.

...and reading back over this I realize how detached this whole thing sounds. Its only because I'm overly-sleep deprived, desperately trying to study for both a German and a Psychology test tomorrow, AND recovering from what I suspect to be the flu (read: possibly H1N1?).

Cheers for now.

Adventures in Being

Believe it or not, writing up this lab report for the systematic identification of an unknown species of land snail using shell characteristics and their various derived states is at almost 1 am is keeping my wandering my occupied. Ergo, it is keeping me sane.

I hate dealing with the whole idea of forming new relationships and the complications that arise such as having to follow pesky social conventions and whatnot. I absolutely abhor it. Figuring out the remains of a dead animal is so much easier. And much more satisfying. Immensely. Gratuitously.

Point in case being my social inappropiateness and my "normal" musings about whether androids and cyborbs fall under Asimov's Three Rules of Robotics and wondering if having a pacemaker makes one a cyborg.

I need electroshock therapy. I honestly believe that.

Cheers.