Lists

This is all that needs to be accomplised in the next two weeks (or less):

A four page reference paper for Spanish... in Spanish. Over 40 online exercises for Spanish.

Study crazy-mad for my Ecology exam (I am bordering on A/B at the moment).

There's no telling how many papers I'll need to write for my English final. It is currently being repressed.

A German and a Spanish oral exam.

... and I think I might have some papers in Psychology.

AND then, finals. Don't expect an update soon.

Cheers.

Black Holes and Revelations

I offer everyone a sincere apology. This is how self-absorbed I am: it has just hit me that there are readers actually leaving comments (Read: someone reads this thing?). Beg my pardon for not realizing this sooner and for not making mention of it. I guess it would behoove me to see how many readers and visits I've had. Sorry guys. Thanks for continuing the readership? I'm a little confused on how exactly I'm supposed to word my gratiousness.

Cheers!

...medias res...

...then I realize that my books are starting to suffocate me and I wonder, "When is one book a book too many?" The truth of the matter is I've realized that the person I've shaped myself into is not who I wanted to be. Or maybe it was but now I've changed my mind. The problem is in order to be who I want to be, I need others to believe it, to help me perpetuate that my idea of myself is a reality. And I'm trying. I'm desperately trying to grasp onto anything and anyone to ground me because my whole life has been spent internally, with spurts of external attempts. I'm not sure what to do. I can only work with what I have... it's easy to change simple aspects or physical aspects. But not so easy to change the things that can't be changed. My only hope is to keep...

Stuck in an Airlock

Sorry for not writing lately.
[Read: Honestly, I don't feel bad. No one clings onto my every word.]

I'm lonely.
[Read: SOMEONE throw me a lifeline. SOMEONE reach out and show me SOMETHING because I'm not good at that sort of thing.]

The semester is going okay.
[Read: I'm FAILING everything because, in my mind, a B is failing.]

I'm feeling a little down.
[Read: I feel inadequete and hopelessly fat and and hopelessly ugly and... well, hopeless.]

I'm going to write soon, promise.
[Read: Don't count on it being happy.]

Cheers.

Oh, baby (also: Baby puns are endless).

I have gotten into the trend of lying down at 10 pm with the full intention of waking up five or ten minutes after a quick little rest; yet, what invariably ends up happening is I finally get out of bed to find it is about 12 or 1 am. If that isn't depressing enough, it's usually to the discovery that I also need to still A)study or, worse, B)write a paper that is due tomorrow. Fortunately, tonight, it's onlya quick study for a psych exam tomorrow. Needless to say, facebook has become a constant and steadfast companion these days. With that also the revelation that most of my friends (well, more friends from long ago than "now" friends) are quite obsessed with having children/raising children.

It is beyond me how so many (I am fairly sure all female) people I know that have lives consumed with the idea of children. More often than not, it seemes like the idea comes about after a failed attempt at college. It's such a mystery to me. Why does this happen? I know that (for the cases I'm referring to) the people in question went to college with seemingly firm intentions of their individual plans but then couldn't quite cut it in some classes. The statuses range from living off-campus to living outside of Murray. After thier first year of college, some tried community college and some "took a break" (you know the story with "breaks"). It isn't as if there's a clear pattern. It just seems that, after some college, they have more time on thier hands and meet people... and then children inevitably become a real focus.

I just don't get it.

Cheers.