Oh, well.

... writing that last blog late at night probably wasn't the best of ideas. I'm not too concerned about it. It's good that sometimes others see that everything in your life isn't going peachy-keen. And sometimes it's for the best.

And looking back at it at 8 pm this evening, it sounds bad. Even to me. Sorry for any undue duress I might have caused anyone and I appreciate those of you who have expressed concerns (there were a lot of you). It's something that I am forced to see that I can not just brush under the rug anymore; eventually, it will build up and there's no hiding it.

So, oh well. It happens. I hate to admit that I make mistakes, but I do. And I hate to admit that no matter where in the world I might go and no matter what languages I might try to learn, I will still be me. So knowing those things, I have to admit that, after this past year, I should not have tried to study abroad this semester. I really should not have, knowing myself.

But, fear not, (and watch here, if you're sensitive, I will use the "s" word here. Scary, I know) I am too much of a wuss to commit suicide. I know it's a relief to everyone. Quite honestly, I still believe there is a God and, although I might not agree with the terms in which He thought I should be here, I still have a good fear of what might happen if I decided to take my fate into my own hands. Oh, that and the whole dying thing. So, take heart, Kim is too much of a coward to face the unknown. Thank God.

So, even though this blog is being closely monitered now (it's that whole, "suicide" thing again), I won't take my last blog down. You know. I'm 21. I don't fit in here with the others on the program. So, obviously I should feel that I need to "off" myself... while abroad for some reason. However, I refuse to believe that being different should be cause for me to feel badly about myself. And if I write something a little disturbing, it is probably me in the throws of an existential crisis. No, the average young adult probably doesn't wonder if they will find enlightenment. Most are worried about if they will be able to find a job after graduation.

However, I will be more considerate next time to my readers. I do agree, upon reading that now, that my being melodramatic could be misinterpreted and it's my fault entirely.

But, going past all this depressing garbage, I think I might be traveling to Nuremberg and Paasau for day trips this weekend. Not sure how I will fare on my own, but if anything, they're close to Regensburg. That and I went to Dult Monday (it's a summer festival here... it's like the county fair, except two weeks long instead of a weekend. Imagine that. A festival that's actually a festicval). It was amazing, but more on that later. I have to finish some German homework.

I feel like I should be put into a corner like a small child after my little fiasco yesterday to be honest. But, I'll live.

Cheers.