After spending a couple of hours reading about conversational code-switching, I realized I may have chosen a line of research similar to the topic I began to hate in my Literature and Philosophy class: identity.
If you followed some of the previous entries I made about recognition and identity, you might get a small taste about what I'm talking about. A lot of the literature I'm engulfed in right now deals with questions like, "Does langauge reflect society?" and "Does mixing languages reflect mixed heritages?" Examples of the mixed heritage (which means being identified as a "mixed" person) are Turkish/German or Rwandanese/Belgian. So, basically, I'm back to the "Who am I?" question that we're all scrambling to answer. No matter how hard I try, I suppose this is how it's going to end up.
My next best option is go back to undergrad and get a degree in something useful (i.e. something that guarantees a job with a steady paycheck). Believe you me, I'll make that happen if research fails. I can handle being a failure on an academic level, but not a life level. Even I have my limits; I know it might not seem that way, but I do.
So, that's what I've been up to. Working on getting ready for my next research meeting, working at the restaurant (which I only havea week left for), and being stressed out about little general things (paying rent).
Things aren't going as well as I'd hoped. My money situation won't be as fruitful as I had planned, but I'll continue to work on finding a third source of income (AGAIN). That and I STILL haven't applied to any grad schools. Or studied for the GRE. Or cleaned my room. My laundry has taken over the floor. It's gotten so bad that whenever my roommate goes to work (he works third shift) I just sleep in his bed (I'm usually up before he comes back anyway, so no harm no foul). The nights he doesn't work, I usually end up passed out on the couch with a book in hand.
Basically, survival is being accomplished but not much else. If anyone has suggestions for me to spice up my existance, let me know.
Cheers!
Who's writing this thing?
- The Little Wandering Owl
- Every real and searching effort at self-improvement is, of itself, a lesson of profound humanity.